2026 has been one of the most travel-ey and milestone-filled years that I can remember. I used to say life was super good if I could have 2 nice vacations a year and be able to pay my bills. Both low and realistic standards for the time. I’ve since revised my goals to shorter trips more often. Especially living here in New Mexico you can tend to feel stuck; by the heat, the six month brown winter, the landlocked vastness, and the repetitive grind —particularly because I WORK where I LIVE.
2026 milestones & events so far:
- Launched another line of scarves
- Used a professional studio to shoot lifestyle images
- Had first and (hopefully only) basal cell carcinoma, 10+ face stitches
- Turned 61 and think about the end of my working years almost constantly
- Celebrated our daughter’s graduation from college and helped her set up her first apartment, the pride has no match
- Cut back on renting out our Air BnB to simplify work life
- Started going to a co-working space 1x a week.
- Took 4 trips from January –August
- Visited at least 15 museums, many new to me
- Subscribed to a local meat farm for healthier, more humane options
- Various friends came to stay in casita for visiting and vacations
- Worked with my business coach (FINDOM) each month to review, reassess, and plan
- Saved enough money for family to travel for graduation, set up Ramona’s new life and give her a party without using credit cards
- Am now in the stage of business where creativity has to be scheduled, to-dos and working IN the business take most of my time
- Pitched some dream clients and had to let go of the outcome, they could not afford my services/worth.
- In February we said goodbye to our 15 year old heeler, Cherry
- In March we got word that a very beloved and dymanic friend had died
- I attended the Museum Shop Association convention in Philly for an afternoon
- Celebrated 25 years of sobriety
Some thoughts on some of these topics approached somewhat randomly:
TRAVEL
As I’ve written here before, travel is so good for my soul. I don’t know many people who say it’s not. There are studies about how travel helps cognitive function, eases depression symptoms and provides stress relief, among other things. It also brings SUSTAINED happiness.
In January a short family trip to Los Angeles was a great way to start the year. Seeing family and dear old friends, Pamela and Cedd is a refreshing way to see self. Annoying daily mental disturbances fall away and I find myself super present — when traveling. I cherish that our friends in Los Angeles welcome us so freely and hours spent around a banquette exchanging ideas and observations are some of my favorite times. Our kids who had not seen each other since they were around 10 years old easily connected. What a gift to see our little gem sparkling with her peers. The youth are SO. DAMN. COOL.
This visit also included time with Roland’s sister Dydia who had a special family heirloom to pass down to Ramona. Complete with historical presentation like no one else can do, we were all in tears and topped of the night with a homemade chicken pot pie and chocolate dessert that Ramona had spent the afternoon making with Dydia.
For us, travel also means SO MANY MUSEUMS. I hungrily snap photos for inspiration, things that remind me of a friend to send to them later, and “collectable” images that I might enjoy later when I have more time or am very old and ailing with open days to consider the work, the artist and meaning. I laugh that museums and architecture are such a part of my interests these days. When I was a kid, I would scowl; “Not ANOTHER museum!”
Some highlights include the stunning architecture, building materials, engineering feats a world-class new Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) and the very creative installations at the Hospital of Emotions, getting to learn more about Yoko Ono’s art career at The Broad— she was so underestimated.
In April I flew to Eugene, Oregon to see my art school bestie, Lori and help my sponsor, Kay unpack into an assisted living apartment. She lives in Coos Bay. This was an emotional trip with hard realities. I was so relieved to see my dear friend and sponsor— as always she was even-keeled, thoughtful and wise. This was highly important time spent. My art school buddy who hosted me in Eugene drove me everywhere like a queen, distracted me with some great thrift shopping and made sure my heart was held while ordering us peanut butter lattes. Thankfully, I FaceTime with my sponsor every other week so I’ve been blessed to see her progress in health and settling-in-security. Another friend, Madeleine came down from Portland and we also fit in an art date and hot tub chat. Seeing the Oregon coast and a different nature palette was very good for my senses. (Insert: A yet to be done (?) study on seeing more green for mental health here.)
There is more travel in Parenting section below but last month Roland and I took a short trip back to Los Angeles with friends Lizz and Kelly. For as long as we’ve been a couple I’ve wished for “couple trips”… like the kind other families would take when Ramona was little: Tahoe, camping, Hawaii, whatever. While parenting, were not invited nor made the effort to make that happen on our own so this was a milestone.
With Lizz and Kelly we got to share an Air BnB in downtown LA. Different for us but a great location for easy walking. Lizz and Kelly have a loving tradition of surprising each other with events, trips, etc. We held the secret of the Hospital of Emotions from Kelly until the minute we were dropped off in front of the hospital where Kelly promptly asked if we were there to entertain children! Nah, we got to BE the kids! It was delightful to see what energy is brought about by a fun surprise like this. We had great meals together, saw family again, and they ran out to see the ocean. I’m glad they were the ones to break our couples trip cherry.
PARENTING
What can you even say about your one-and-only graduating from college and forging their way in the world? In THIS world? It’s a range of emotions from glorious to terrifying. Graduation week in NYC was crazy! I loved that the streets surrounding Columbia were constantly filled with graduates running to and fro, eating in restaurants, drinking in bars all while constantly wearing their light blue gowns. I think it might be tradition to not take it off the whole week, but also— round the clock graduation ceremonies for all the different schools. The vibe was very high and students were navigating family obligations with the last moments and minutes of their tribe who it was clear would be very hard to release. One of Ramona’s friends told us her mantra: “I love my family and my family loves me.” This event was a palpable mark in chrysalis to butterfly.
Graduation week was held within a muggy heatwave and it limited what felt possible but some of these proud families had come from across the world. No amount of discomfort would keep them from wearing their Ghana finest of head wraps and lovely sashes. This is a seared-in-my-brain memory. This success was the whole family's! The school employs the football team to help with wheelchairs, directions, handing out water and coddling parents. It’s a well run machine and any grumbling is quickly eased with their bright smiles and positivity.
The class of 2026 almost didn’t get to graduate on the main campus (a 268 year tradition) but a student petition secured the venue and we were all treated to a surprise performance by Jon Batiste! At the Engineering ceremony, the 2026 engineering class names were called out and we could hear a marked difference in surnames as most were unfamiliar, so many graduates of color! Ramona’s class also seemed to have been 3/4 women!
We had not been to NYC in the 4 years Ramona attended college. We bookended her time with the drop off and pick up. I wish this had been different but many factors had a play in that decision. For her part, Ramona was done with the city by graduation.
While loading Ramona’s dorm contents into a minivan on a rainy morning right after the big event we were again participants in the machine that is Columbia and it’s systems. Giant cardboard boxes on wheels are maneuvered to elevators with lines of other anxious “helpful” parents who felt the shock of what was happening and had to cover it with a mask of get-it-done. I was happy to be moving on to the next part of the adventure and setting up house in Philadelphia.
In Philly things were every emotion. Tense, triumphant, sad, panicked, proud, etc. I don’t think I had any idea how exhausting it would be. We made no less than 4 trips to Ikea, talked about the weight a screw versus nail could hold when hanging a picture, discussed the benefits of coffee for a full time career girl, explored her new neighborhood (wow, Queen Village, you rock) and visited park after park, all within walking distance of her new abode. In looking back I think we were all running on fumes and Roland and I had not slept on a comfortable bed the entire time. Note to self: this affects the experience greatly at my age/stage.
As I write, Ramona has been on the job for about 2 full months. I’m thrilled that she seems to enjoy the work, the company and also the PEOPLE. That’s so important at her age. She is living her best, debt-free, structured life of prepped meals, regular exercise, and seeing friends in NYC. We are so happy she’s started a good career and can support herself. We also miss her TERRIBLY. This year we have seen her for a total of about 4 weeks.
My mom used to say: “You raise your kids to leave you.” A bit harsh but it IS the right concept. Ramona’s independence is so important to us. But I keep wishing there was a parenting book for this time of life for US. The away-at-college years were not as difficult but this—THIS is the painful time for me. Roland and I are in that liminal space of still working, not sure of the future, our little pearl is now on her own. What’s the play now? How does this couple move into the next stage and do we even have a say of what that is?
At 60, I wonder what I'll do with the time left. Living is no longer an automated action plan dictated by the family needs.
A friend in California used to say 60 came on like an age never had before and she’s totally right. I wake up these days on an automatic track but don’t fall easily into routine. It takes more to gear up. I regard myself, my authority, my faith, and those around me so much more earnestly. I have days of complete cantankerousness where everybody better mind themselves, I’m heated. On the plus side, I’ve never been more sure of who I am nor more comfortable with my place in the bigger picture. I’m boundary-ing, asking, informing and walking through the mud more confidently and more often than ever. Don't mess with a self-identified crone in training!
LIFE (are you seated?)
We’ve stopping watching ANY news. Our mental health will only allow for reading the New York Times and online accounts that are trustworthy.
It feels like the world has been taken for granted and now that the systems are collapsing, nature is rebelling, and our way of life is crumbling it’s an overwhelmingly helpless feeling on the daily. To now attempt to fix the things we so stupidly, greedily allowed to happen feels futile. I wonder about our collective shame and continuing survival mode that is human existence.
I feel terrible for the youth. I ponder how Ramona's generation are supposed to care about or tackle the world’s ills. These are times not of their making nor do they represent that generation’s current desires and values. I would not blame them for their bitterness. It's a baffling time to be alive.
Will inexperience and a certain naivety carry them forward? The advantage of being 22 is that I remember living much more in the moment, it seemed like 40 would never happen. Just LIVE! This year I've also had the joy of spending quality time with no less than 4 young women (daughters of friends) whom I've known since they were born. The are straightforward, realistic, measured and creative. I'm truly amazed by the way they've chosen to think and live in these times.
To be with my 82 year old mother and her hearty but frailer state reminds me that age does come for us. She's less interested in running around town and doing all the things. Praise! She now chooses outings carefully and anticipates what might be too much for a particular day. This is a good example of graceful aging. VERY recently we have discovered a new activity— we meet at her apartment and TALK. This is a late-in-life sampling of a mothering that I had yearned for. Just to BE and simply enjoy each other's company.
The weeks at home have been filled with swim gatherings, (I'm ready for the study that talks about the healing properties of water and conversation), coffee dates, lectures, helping friends, crafternoons, neighborhood walks, making food, enjoying out-of-town visitors, recovery meetings, tv watching and other mundane but life-sustaining activities that I'm feeling quite thankful for as I sift through photos to add to this blog.
Women friendships seem to be the enduring prescription for me. As a social person, I DO draw positive energy from being around others and having a complex conversation while sharing feelings. Writing is also satisfying and hope not to take so long to write again. Maybe this will be one of my retirement activities; unpublished observations and angst on life. Walking is a must for my brain and body as I check on the plants, the neighbor's house renovations and way the light changes with the season. Many audio books continue to distract me in a good way, I’m in the middle of 3 right now; a self help/empowerment of sorts, essays by an incredibly smart political journalist, and an insightful memoir by a celebrity's daughter.
And so we head into fall.
If you’re feeling a similarly distraught at times, you’re not alone; talk to someone— even me. If there is a book, a practice, a healing or ritual that’s getting you through these times I’d love to hear about it.
Photos of close family only as I'm not comfortable posting images without permissions.